August 2024
Welcome! It was 55 years ago when I lived in hell on earth at Spahn's Ranch. For anyone envious of me in those days, desiring to have been there [excluding the crimes] are deceived, even delusional. It wasn't your typical flowers in your hair, hippie commune with a garden, but a bunch of pliant slaves serving a madman.
"For we ourselves were also once foolish, disobedient, deceived, serving various lusts and pleasures, living in malice and envy, hateful and hating one another" (Titus 3:3, NKJV).
A Myth Buster's Response . . .
Recently, an out-of-state retired Correctional Officer wrote, explaining why he initially contacted me.
"You may not know this but I didn't start writing you because of the crimes. I wrote you because I was jealous of the life you got to live at the Ranch before the crimes. The freedom, the carefree life, living in the 'now', the girls, the trips, the stars at night and etc. I would have liked to have been there."
RESPONSE: Don't get me wrong; when I made trips to California and moved here in August '67, it was fun! I felt I had escaped the anxiety and pressures of college and family, but under the surface there were still the parental pressures, hurts, unmet needs and expectations, creating frustrations and insecurity. It was fun driving down Sunset Boulevard in my yellow '59 T-Bird convertible while listening to the latest hits and kicking it with my friend David, but this all led to medicating my emotional pain with marijuana.
I share these days in my book "Will You Die For Me?", which will be released in hardback this year under the title "Cease To Exist" with a new Epilogue by me. This is absolutely the only true story of my life, the crimes and conversion. In my deception, I felt like my friend [writing to me above] at first, when I picked up Dennis Wilson of The Beach Boys hitchhiking, who introduced me to Manson. At 21, I was ignorant of the demonic activity below the surface, which I share in my other book Charles Watson Speaks Out! I was foolish, disobedient and serving various lusts and pleasures, while following a radical philosophy.
"But when the kindness and the love of God appeared, not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing and regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out on us abundantly through Jesus Christ our Savior, that having been justified by His grace we should become heirs according to the hope of eternal life" (Titus 3:4-7, NKJV).
Free At Last!
As you read my book Will You Die For Me?, it is plain to see my bad choices that caused my decline into rebellion towards God and my parents because of pride, greed, laziness, lust, envy, fear of failing and anger. I share these deadly sins also in my article Why The Crime?, where I address my separation from God. Today in society, these same sins run rampart in souls, who have lost their way.
Even in the apostle Paul's days, he wrote: "Once you were dead because of disobedience and your many sins. You used to live in sin, just like the rest of the world, obeying the devil -- the commander of the powers in the unseen world. He is the spirit at work in the hearts of those who refuse to obey God. All of us used to live that way, following the passionate desires and inclinations of our sinful nature. By our very nature, we were subject to God's anger, just like everyone else" (Ephesians 2:1-3, NLT).
If I have made my old life desirous in my writings in any way -- I apologize, it wasn't. When thinking of it, we can't exclude the crimes and each life that was taken by my hands. I apologize now as I did in my books and many times afterward for the deep hurt and pain I have caused their families because of my actions on those two dreadful nights. I live with deep sorrow and remorse, but the love of God has allowed me to find my personal identity more in Him and His grace than in my past actions. [Click here for Victims' Remembrance].
The apostle Paul explains how ". . . God is so rich in mercy, and he loved us so much, that even though we were dead because of our sins, he gave us life when he raised Christ from the dead. (It is only by God's grace that you have been saved!) For he raised us from the dead along with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms because we are united with Christ Jesus. So God can point to us in all future ages as examples of the incredible wealth of his grace and kindness toward us, as shown in all he has done for us who are united with Christ Jesus" (Ephesians 2:4-7, NLT).
Secure In Christ . . .
I woke up spiritually to my depravity and insecurity in 1975, when the Holy Spirit convinced me of my sin of unbelief. Before receiving Christ, I was spiritually dead -- separated from God (Ephesians 2:1). My identity and worth were based on my performance to fulfill my need for love and acceptance within a cult, instead of a personal relationship with God through the finished work of Christ. This performance-based mentality drove me to commit the horrific death of each victim, which caused crushing grief for their families and loved ones, and created enormous suffering for my family, friends and the world at large. For me, I returned to my family, depressed and in turmoil, until I surrendered to the grace and mercy of God for healing and the ability to live with myself.
Paul wrote: "God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can't take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it. For we are God's masterpiece. He created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago" (Ephesians 2:8-10, NLT).
He continues by saying, "Once you were far away from God, but now you have been brought near to him through the blood of Christ. For Christ himself has brought peace to us. He united Jews and Gentiles into one people when, in his own body on the cross, he broke down the wall of hostility that separated us. He did this by ending the system of law with its commandments and regulations. He made peace between Jews and Gentiles by creating in himself one new people from the two groups. Together as one body, Christ reconciled both groups to God by means of his death on the cross, and our hostility toward each other was put to death. He brought this Good News of peace to you Gentiles who were far away from him, and peace to the Jews who were near. Now all of us can come to the Father through the Holy Spirit because of what Christ has done for us" (Ephesians 2:13b-18, NLT).
Who We Are In Christ . . .
As believers, we are secure in Jesus' death, burial and resurrection. Let us confess out loud: I am blessed with every spiritual blessing, loved and chosen to be holy and without fault, predestined to be adopted through Christ, accepted in the Beloved, redeemed through His blood, purchased to be His own people, forgiven of all sin, showered with His kindness, shown His mysterious plan regarding Christ, united in Him, sealed by the Holy Spirit and guaranteed an inheritance in Christ to the praise of His glory (Ephesians 1:3-14).
Listen, ". . . God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those things that are powerful" (1 Corinthians 1:27, NLT).
TAKE BACK WHAT THE ENEMY STOLE: ". . . be careful how you live. Don't live like fools, but like those who are wise. Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. Don't act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. Don't be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ" (Ephesians 5:15-20, NLT).
Knowledge Of The Truth . . .
In my Abounding Love Podcast episode #296 "Knowledge Of The Truth", I share how we need to know God, the Truth of God and the Love of God. All these things are found in the Word of God and exemplified in Jesus Christ -- the Living Word. Isaiah prophesied: ". . . my people have gone into captivity, because they have no knowledge; their honorable men are famished, and their multitude dried up with thirst" (5:13, NKJV). Do you want to avoid captivity? Do you want to avoid spiritual hunger and thirst? Then gain the knowledge of God, "And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free . . . Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed" (John 8:32, 36, NKJV).
The prophet Hosea wrote: "My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Because you have rejected knowledge, I also will reject you from being a priest for Me; because you have forgotten the law of your God, I also will forget your children" (4:6, NKJV). In this prophecy, Hosea warns that God's people will be destroyed for the lack of knowing the Truth. How do you get such knowledge? Through God's Word! How do you get faith? Through hearing God's Word! The prophets of the Old Testament were moved by the Holy Spirit to speak the Truth of God, Who delivered the Truth to them so they could give it to us.
This continued in the New Testament, when Paul wrote: "For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified" (I Corinthians 2:2, NKJV). If you want to be a successful minister, be determined to teach and preach what Paul did! "Jesus and Him crucified" is God's plan for the redemption of mankind. That's the gospel truth -- the Good News. It's through the crucifixion we are saved! And that is the Truth of God teaching us of the Love of God by sharing the knowledge of God. Believing in Jesus and the crucifixion brings right standing with God. The more revelation knowledge you gain from the Spirit of the Truth, the more you are set free from the lies of the enemy. I pray this message will embolden you to standup and proclaim the Truth! [Click here to listen to the Abounding Love Podcast].
The Truth That Sets Us Free Says . . .
I AM A BELIEVER: "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life" (John 3:16, NKJV).
I AM A RECEIVER: ". . . as many as receive Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name" (1 John 1:12, NKJV)
I AM GOD'S PROPERTY: "For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God's" (1 Corinthians 6:20, NKJV).
I AM LOVED: "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me" (Galatians 2:20, NKJV).
I AM A NEW CREATION: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new" (2 Corinthians 5:17, NKJV).
I AM RIGHTEOUS: "For He made Him who knew no sin to be sin for us, that we might become the righteousness of God in Him" (1 Corinthians 5:21, NKJV).
I AM FREE IN CHRIST: ". . . His divine power has given us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these you might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through list" (2 Peter 1:3-4, NKJV).
I AM AN HEIR OF GOD: "The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, then heirs -- heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ" (Romans 8:16, 17, NKJV). Today, I pray for those still suffering, who I have harmed so deeply. That they will believe and receive the love of God for comfort and restoration in Christ; spiritually, mentally and emotionally. And if they are dealing with physical repercussions, that healing will prevail in the Name of Jesus for their whole being. Amen!
A Prayer For You . . .
For the many victims of crime, "When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom every family in heaven and on earth takes its name. I pray from God's glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God's love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God. Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever. Amen!" (Ephesians 3:14-21, NLT).